(The CW) NEW YORK - NEW YORK - Every week, New York City Socialistas, Kelly Will and Gregory Littley, will recap the latest 'Gossip Girl' episode, and give the insiders' view into what it's really like to be fashionable and fabulous in the city that never sleeps.

Fade in on autumn in New York and a Bass family breakfast. It is truly the best season to hit our beautiful city. Cool air, blowing leaves and crisp seemingly-clean air. Girls don their best opaque tights with their dresses and jackets and Serena is no different. Bart and Lily (decked out in vintage Verdura jewels) have decided to be parents and lay down the law for the children, including no going out on school nights and family Friday night dinners every week. This could be tricky to get around, even for our favorite deviant, Chuck.

At Rupert's house, Dan (playing on Nate's soccer team) is partially convinced by Jenny and Vanessa to join the newest cause; saving a speakeasy. Now, joining a cause in NYC is a big deal, especially for a young socialite. Everyone has a cause...a hospital, a special charity, even an animal shelter can get the ultra rich to throw fabulous fetes and raise mucho dinero.

At school, a brown-haired Erik (thank goodness they ditched those horrible streaks!) and Serena talk trash about new step-daddy Bart. Blair happens upon Chuck as he is ditched by new 'bromance' buddies, Nate and Dan. B promises Chuck they'll never be together again, but Chuck knows better and teases her with the possibilities. Vanessa blackmails B with pictures of ex-Marcus and his step-mommy/cougar so that she will help the speakeasy cause.

Chuck learns that Bart has laid down the rules only because Serena is threatening a business deal with her late nights and Page Six appearances. Serena slinks off to 1 OAK (West Chelsea) and Bijoux (underground hotspot in the Meatpacking District) in her mini-est mini dress and cleavage everywhere just to torture Bart. (These clubs do exist and are cool enough that Serena would hit them...though a perfect fake ID would probably be necessary, even for S.)

B lures Chuck to her place for martinis and to convince him to seduce Vanessa. He will get back at Dan for stealing Nate, and get V to leave B alone about the speakeasy cause. Chuck agrees and plants one deliciously seductive kiss on B's neck.

The next morning, Erik brings his new boyfriend to breakfast with Blair and Serena. Surprisingly, E actually intro'd the boyfriend to Chuck first! Dan and Little J joke about how his soccer life is going as Rufus makes the underagers lots of coffee. (Hmmm. Coffee to teenagers in Brooklyn. I actually believe that happens.) Dan heads off to play a little soccer in Central Park with Nate, while Chuck hits the speakeasy to hit ON Vanessa. He doesn't quite have his usual luck when the locals diss his dapper designer duds and throw a red Icee at him.

Bart tells Lily that Serena left the house the night before looking like a stripper. Lily asks her to shape up within the new "Bart structure" of the family and S storms off saying she won't be at the housewarming party that evening. Dan gets to Nate's house to find a SEIZED sign on his front door and realizes that Nate is actually sleeping there on the floor. The house is all the Archibalds have left as all their belongings were sold.

Chuck tells B that Vanessa is not worth his time and B offers a "Cruel Intentions"-style payment if Chuck gets to Vanessa. Naturally, they make the deal! Chuck gets B if he beds Vanessa. Two girls...something tells me if anyone can do it, Chuck Bass can. Vanessa gets Chuck to make a deal to save the speakeasy and gets him inches closer to landing B.

S and B (in a dress Chuck gave her over the summer!) bond in B's amazing shoe closet, bemoaning bad Bart and loose Lily. Dan and Little J decide they want Nate to live with them and plot to get him to their place for chili dinner and then hook him in full-time. Bart tells Erik his new boyfriend is not allowed at the party (again bad impressions for that business deal) and Chuck plans to buy the speakeasy himself.

Serena dons a suit that Bart purchases for her and heads into the housewarming with Chuck and B. Vanessa arrives and shares a death stare with B. Chuck tells his father he's buying the speakeasy, but since Bart holds the purse strings he refuses to allow it. Vanessa overhears the conversation and feels bad for Chuck, and in what seems just like "Cruel Intentions," he begins to have real feelings for V as a stunned B watches from the hallway. She later attempts to renege on the bet, in order to keep Chuck from liking V.

After chili dinner, Nate and Dan get in a fight when Dan oversteps and tries to convince Nate to stay with them. Bromance is over. Back in Manhattan, Serena blows the housewarming wide open when she tells reporters that they are nothing but a family torn apart.

Erik forces Lily to realize that she is not the mother she pretends and convinces her to try to act like a real mother. Rufus tells Dan to stick it out with Nate and try to help him out no matter how much he pushes him away. Bromance back on! B unveils the whole plan that she and Chuck created. Vanessa doesn't believe it and Chuck comes along in time to prove B right. B tells Chuck she'll be in bed waiting for him in 1 hour so he can claim his prize...her.

Chuck is torn and heads to the speakeasy to try to salvage the buyout, but fails. Dan and Serena meet up on Nate's steps and talk for real for the first time in weeks. Serena and Dan apologize to each other and Bart arrives in a stretch limo (Ick...no one rides in those -- they are old school bad --Town cars and SUVs only!) to take Serena home so Lily can apologize for being a terrible mother for 17 years. Serena apologizes for her loud behavior and sans Chuck plus Erik, the family finally bonds.

Nate moves in with Rufus, Little J and Dan. B waits among the candles on her bed as Chuck enters her room. The high-school vixen is in her naughtiest lingerie and the two go to the sheets...but Chuck requires those three magic words and says he is no longer prepared to settle. He tells B that until she can say those words she will NEVER have him. He wants B to chase him. So many games, so little time. Better hurry, B!

XOXO



Best Quote -
Serena to Bart as the elevator door is closing: "Oh! I forgot to put on underwear!"
Chuck to Blair about sleeping with Vanessa: "I'll just pretend she's you."

Best TEXT message -
Blair to Chuck: "En route to J Sisters."
Very few people will catch this amazing reference to the best bikini waxing salon in the city. Every celebrity has been and every woman scrimps and saves if she must for a trip to the J Sisters. But of course, Chuck catches it and goes full throttle in his attempted seduction of Vanessa.
(The CW).